A Typical RPG Quest
by Fragments Of Dreams
Summary: Follow Gouenji and Yuuka in their daring (and random!) quest to save the world from the Demon Lord Kageyama.
1. So it Begins

_**Author"s notes:**_

_**Anyway, I was looking through the list of anime I watched and found a certain Anime (Magical Circle Guru Guru) that really inspired me with its "uniqueness". So, I decided to take the idea and write something. Please note, even though this is a lighthearted parody, I hope some (or one if it turns out to be boring as hell) critics would bother doing what they do best.**_

_**PS: I"m really thick skinned, so I don"t mind Flames much. But PM **__**hatemail and you will face unimaginable consequences...**_

_**But anyone willing to give constructive criticism is more than welcome. In fact, I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER! XD  
**_

_**Disclaimer**__**: The author does not own IE or its characters. Please excuse my crude language.  
**_

* * *

_**A Typical RPG Quest**_

_**Chapter One: So it Begins**_

"Muhahahah… Soon, oh so very soon… I shall be released from this prison and enter the human world once again!" A cackling voice came from the depths of the abyss.

"Uuuh sir, technically you"ll be released much later… The hero's quest hasn't begun yet." Another reedy voice came from the same place with an air that would suggest that he was sweatdropping.

"Shut up Minion! Can't you see I'm plotting? And I know very well that the villain either gets released in the prologue or mid-way through the quest of the hero in all RPGs, so get the heck out of my sight!" The voice snapped at Minion.

…

"Why are you still standing around here? Go and writhe in eternal agony like you're supposed to!" The voice roared again. There was a brief pause where Minion probably twiddled his thumbs unsurely like most employees do.

"Sir, may I get a pay raise? I've been under your nastiness" service for so long without one…" He said timidly. "Oh, you want a raise, do you?" The voice maliciously asked.

"Y-yes sir."

"Well you're not getting one!" He roared and then cackled with relish once again.

"Bu-but why not?"

"Because you're useless and I'm evil! Muhahahahahaha!" He again replied with yet another cackle.

"Awwwwww…" Minion whined but left without another word, skulking in depression.

* * *

It was another nice quiet day in the small village in Inazuma Kingdom called Ye Ol' Hometown. A billboard welcomed anyone who came to this remote area of Inazuma Kingdom which read "Welcome to Ye Ol' Hometown, where all quests begin!" with some posters papered beneath it which read, "SALE! SALE! 50% off on all equipment in the Adventurer's Dept. Shop."

But today was a special day for a certain NPC of no apparent value. It was his 17th birthday, and the day he finally becomes a protagonist setting off for an adventure. His name was Gouenji Shuuya.

Gouenji sat up on his bed and rubbed his eyes. It was the crack of dawn, but it was usual for him to get up this early for training. He slowly approached the window near his bed after getting up from bed. Golden beams of light flitted through the glass, and he opened the window to let the fresh morning air in.

A blast of crisp and cool air greeted him as he opened the window, and he breathed in the delicious countryside air heavily... Only to start choking on some putrid and burning stench that was carried in with the wind. He was coughing like a TB patient when...

SMACK!

A sandal came from the blue and hit him hard on the side of the face. he slumped to the ground with swirly eyes.

_~Gouenji receives 5 HP damage~_

A high-pitched and cracked voice screamed from next door, "I told you a thousand times not to make this much noise in the morning! And my cooking doesn't smell that bad!"

"You really are senile if you actually think that, you old Battleaxe!" Gouenji screamed back out the window with watering eyes.

SMACK!

"You whippersnappers should learn some respect! And I want my sandals back!" the Old Hag yelled as Gouenji fell with swirly eyes, hit by the other sandal.

~_**CRITICAL! **Gouenji receives 10 points of damage. Gouenji Fell...~_

* * *

"Are you sure you"re ready to start your journey?" Gouenji's father asked him as he eyed him sternly

"Yes..." He said, ironically still rubbing the bruise from the double hit he procured from the old lady(!) next door.

Gouenji"s father raised his eyebrows, inwardly very worried how an 17 year old boy who just got knocked out by an old lady pull this off. But he still gave him the equipment and gold to start him off.

~_Gouenji received **Trainee Sword, Clothes, Tin Pot, Sandals(!), Straw Shield**_~

~_Gouenji received_ **_500 Yen_**~

~_Gouenji received_ _**Curative** **Herbs**_~

~_Gouenji equipped ****__**Trainee Sword, Clothes, Tin Pot, Sandals(!), Straw Shield**_~

**-Stat Screen-**

** Level-1**

**Wannabe: What did ya expect?! Do ya expect him to get a badass stat or title from the beginning in every game?**

** HP 15**

** MP 5**

** -Equipment-**

** Trainee Sword: A wooden sword? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? 50% off on equipment and you STILL buying the cheapest sword available?**

** Clothes: Does that mean he was naked all this time? O.O**

** Tin Pot: Again, YOU'RE STILL BUYING THE CHEAPEST THING AVAILABLE!?**

** Sandals: Not the ones he got hit with.**

**Straw Shield:**** You would be better off with a****n iron lid the size of your face...**

** Memorial Pendant: No joke here.**

"Look Shuuya," Gouenji's father said gravely "I've always hoped you would become a healer like myself, but you insisted on journeying. I'm only allowing this because it was your mothers last wish for you to go and find your sister who was stolen by a witch. So, remember, your only priority should be finding your sister. If, by some miracle you find her, you are to return here instantly. I repeat, you must come back after your sister has been found."

"Yes, father..." Gouenji sighed, absentmindedly fingering the heart-shaped pendant which was his mother's last gift to him.

* * *

After some dire warnings from his father and apologies to the neighboring old lady, Gouenji set off for the Forest nearby where the witch was allegedly sighted, but not before visiting his two best friends Endou Mamoru and Kidou Yuuto.

"Good luck!" They both said.

"Oh, I'm so jealous! If only my birthday was earlier!" Endou said wishingly.

"Don't worry, only a month to go." Kidou said soothingly while patting him on the back.

"You two are acting as though I'm going on holiday." Gouenji said, sweatdropping at the sight of Endou's emo Aura.

~_Endou is afflicted by EMO_~

"Well, you won't understand..." Endou said, skulking in a corner.

Kidou also sweatdropped at this as well. "Umm... Even I don't understand..." He told Gouenji in a hushed voice.

With that out of the way, Gouenji stepped out of the village for the first time, rearing to face all the dangers (and randomness) that will come in his daring quest.

~_Entering Chloros Woods_~

Gouenji entered the dark woods. The trees were exceptionally old and gnarled. Gouenji was on his guard, because monsters inhabited anywhere there wasn't a human settlement...

TO BE CONTINUED...

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_**Please Review!**_


	2. Epic Fail!

_**Author's notes:**_

_**I own nothing!**_

_**And as I promised, HachimitsuOukan, I LOVE YOU FOREVER FOR BEING A CRITIC!**_

_**And I'm in a little problem, so not enough time to make big chapters... Please bear with this small crack chapter...**_

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_**Chapter 2: Epic Fail!**_

LOADING FROM LAST SAVE...

...

LOAD SUCCESS!

Gouenji walked cautiously on the trail that was very vaguely discernible from the forest for the numerous weeds and undergrowth that had grown in the shadows of the huge and ancient trees. He quickly repeated the names and capabilities of the monsters that crawl, fly, buzz or slither in the woods.

He relaxed when he remembered one key point: encounters were unavoidable. He quickly straitened up from the ridiculous pose he had taken that was close to the slow shifty stance ninjas take while snaking around, quite embarrassed.

He walked a few paces more before jumping a few feet into the air by the sudden battle-chime.

_**ENCOUNTER! A KILLER BEE APPEARED!  
**_

A Killer Bee appeared in front of him. It was a bee the size of a tennis ball with a formidable stinger the size of a syringe made for rhinos.

It pointed its rear at Gouenji to attack before pausing and sweatdropping at Gouenji who was breathing heavily and clutching his chest.

_**~Killer Bee inflicted by "WT*!?"~**_

But it recovered and went charging towards Gouenji, deadly stinger first.

_**~Poison Barb!~**_

But Gouenji was able to jump out of the way (_**~Dodge!~**_), before drawing his Trainee Sword and Straw Shield. The Killer Bee turned and started to flap it's wings blindingly fast, causing the buzzing to increase ten-fold. (_**~Buzzer!~**_)

The sound caused Gouenji to cringe a bit, (_**~Guenji's defense fell!~**_) but he disregarded it and slashed the bee with his sword. (_**~Killer Bee receives 7 damage!~**_)

The bee tried to sting him again, but now with a non-poisonous attack. Gouenji got hit on the arm (_**~Gouenji receives 5 damage!~**_) and,

"Ouch! That really hurt!" He snapped at the Killer Bee, as though it _wasn't trying _to hurt him.

And cue sweatdrop again...

"No more holding back!" Gouenji said threateningly, getting fired up.

_**~Vengeful Mode! Drastic Attack boost!~**_

A fiery aura appeared around Gouenji as he charged at the Killer Bee with the wooden sword and was about to bring it down on it when...

"Ushishishishi..."

Oh dear...

"Shuuya!" a voice came from somewhere behind him, and he missed the killer bee by a mile and slammed into a dead tree...

...Which got knocked over onto another tree which also got knocked down to the next one which conveniently had a huge nest of killer bees in it...

Gouenji scrambled up onto his feet and looked around, while dreading that buzzing sound.

"Shuuya!" The voice called again, and it turned out to be his father running towards him while waving his hands. "I forgot to give you an immunity tonic! Remember? Every male in our family is allergic to killer bee poison!"

And it clicked in his mind why he was screwed...

"Oh craaaap!" He yelled and ran for it, chased by a horde of angry bees... And passed his father without a word.

"Wai-wha!? He-hey! Wait for me!" His father screamed as he almost ran headlong into the swarm and did a 180 turn before fleeing as well.

_**~Epic Fail!~**_

As the Father-Son duo got chased out of the forest, a certain short blue-haired and malicious imp sat enjoying the view...

"Ushishishishi!" The imp named Kogure laughed.

He was so looking forward to following that guy around... And most of all...

... Causing EPIC Failures...

* * *

**_SAVING PROGRESS..._**

**_SAVED!_**

**Sorry again for the short chapter... (emo corner)**


End file.
